A Choice Made: Companion to Did you ever care
by TWIantoJones
Summary: SPOILERS for NEW radioplay "House of the Dead". Ianto died then was given a choice. Stay dead or use Miracle Day to become immortal. He loves Jack, so it's obvious what he chooses. But at what cost? Features dark!Ianto.


A Choice Made- companion story to "Did you ever care..."

Summary: Ianto died then was given a choice. Stay dead or use Miracle Day to become immortal. He loves Jack, so it's obvious what he chooses. Features dark!Ianto. Companion to "Did you ever care..."

A/N: Inspired by "House of the Dead" radio play (closure... more like, "Hello Ianto fans and Janto lovers! We're here to tantalize then rip your hearts out AGAIN." Sorry, but I want Ianto BACK ON TORCHWOOD.). Spoilers for the new radio play are possible so you've been warned. Also, possible spoilers for some of the later novels and audiobooks and other plays, etc. Not sure as I'm doing what I do best... writing by the seat of my pants... lol

O_O_O_O

He was dead. This was a fact. He was in the darkness that Jack, Suzie and Owen had spoken of before. And he was alone.

So alone.

And then, he forgot that he died. He forgot that he went with Jack to try to force the aliens known as the 456 to leave. He forgot that he died in Jack's arms. He forgot that entire week.

His last memory, the last true memory he had, was of he and Jack chasing down a rogue Weevil in the rain. They had been filled with an energy that neither had had since Gray. Since Owen and Tosh. It was only a few days after the phone induced coma. Ianto hadn't wanted Jack out of his sight. So they had chased a Weevil. It had been like old times again. They had thrilled in the chase then picked up pizza for dinner. Jack had stayed the night and the sex had been amazing.

Ianto Jones' last true memory ended with him waking up and making them both a cup of coffee. They had sat on the bed, snuggled together, drinking coffee and reading (he the newspaper, Jack a book).

And then he found himself recalling eating porridge for breakfast.

But it was a lie.

He had actually been drawn to The House of the Dead on its final night. A séance. He'd always thought they were faked but this one, this one was real. His father - Dad- was there. Still bitter. Well, he would have called if he had thought his father had really wanted him to. But his father had always been so cold towards him. Ianto always felt that his father blamed him for his mother's death.

His father's ghost was not what broke him. It was something, someone else.

Jack.

Jack had come there in the vain (or not so much) hope of seeing him one more time. But Ianto had been hurt, even angry at being called back from the darkness.

Because unlike Jack, Owen and Suize... Ianto had found peace in the dark. It wasn't something to fear. Yes he had been alone but he had something important. He had his memories. Good and bad. All that he needed to find peace in death.

And Jack, selfish to the end, had ripped him from that peace.

No... it wasn't anger. It was sorrow.

Because he knew that Jack was so lonely. So sad.

He'd been given a chance to walk away with Jack, out the door of the pub and back to life.

He had been ready to take it.

Until he had reached the threshold. Then he realized.

If he did walk out that door, he would not only be alive but mortal. Jack would only have to go through this again. It was merely a delaying of the inevitable.

No, he couldn't let Jack do that. He couldn't let Jack fool himself. He believed Jack when he said that he was the only one of his past loves he'd wanted to see that night. That was why he couldn't let Jack continue to hurt himself.

Because he had finally learned that Jack loved HIM. His fears and jealously of Gwen had been unfounded in the end. Oh he was certain that Jack loved Gwen but he knew now that he needn't have worried that it was Gwen Jack was thinking of when they made love.

Jack tried to get him to go with him but he couldn't. He would rather suffer oblivion than let Jack suffer his loss any longer. Jack needed to grieve properly. He didn't want Jack to move on or revert back to his previous existence as a perpetual flirt. But he didn't want Jack to carry on in this state of denial he was beginning to form.

So he decided to go out with a bang this time.

"Ianto Jones, I love you."

Now he could go through oblivion in peace. Because a part of him had known that. But it was nice to hear it. And the way that Jack looked at him. He had never looked at Gwen or anyone else like that.

He would take that memory with him.

So he closed the Rift and found himself alone again.

Time ceased to exist.

He drifted in the emptiness. The nothing that surrounded him became his world. But all he knew was that last memory.

"Ianto Jones, I love you."

He would be okay because he had finally heard those words.

He would suffer forever for that.

But then THEY came. Beings that existed inside the nothingness that he was in. He had thought himself alone until he saw them. Made of Time and Space and Nothing but with powers that he had never even thought of.

THEY had existed since before anything. THEY had watched everything as it was born. THEY watched Earth and its people and loathed them because of their flaws.

But THEY also found a kinship with Ianto. THEY saw the loneliness inside him and wanted to make it better.

So a gift was offered. All he had to do was accept it. THEY would take care of the rest.

Immortality. A life forever with Jack. With Jack. Forever.

Jack. Immortality. Jack. Forever.

It became his very reason for being. Jack.

Time. Time was something intriguing.

THEY said that he would have to stay in the nothingness for a while longer. But once everything was in place, he would be made immortal. He would become like Jack. He would no longer have the peace and contentment of his earlier sacrifice but he was willing to give that up in order to be with Jack.

The hardest part had been waiting. He was forced to wait as a pre-Immortal Jack came to Earth. Then he had to sit by as newly-Immortal Jack arrived. It was almost painful for him to see Jack bumble his way around as he tried to figure his "condition" out. Seeing him fall in love was hard. As was seeing him join and serve Torchwood. There were times when he wanted to just GO TO HIM. He wanted to tell him what was coming.

But that would change things. And Ianto needed to NOT do that. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to spend forever with Jack.

So he suffered alone. Then as he watched Owen die, he cried.

Then it happened again. Followed by Toshiko's death. At least they had found each other at the end.

But still he cried.

Then THEY offered Owen and Tosh the same choice he'd been given. Because his friends had the same something that THEY saw in him.

Owen, Tosh and Ianto were strongest when together. They balanced one another out.

Together they watched as Torchwood carried on.

He didn't want to watch his final moments. But Tosh and Owen stood there, tears on their faces, so he forced himself to join them.

There was a funeral but Jack had run off to travel the world so he missed it. Then Jack learned about the séance. Their last chance to see each other.

But something happened. There was something -a dark Nothing- inside the void as well. THEY feared it and tried to keep it from him But soon the Nothing surrounded Ianto and entered his soul to become a part of him. It changed his perception of things. His memories became muddled until his previous fears and personal nightmares successfully masqueraded as truth.

The memory of his funeral changed. He now believed that Jack hadn't missed it. In fact, the Nothing made him believe a very different version of events.

_Jack and Gwen stood by his coffin with joined hands. They comforted each other while Rhys watched. The look on Rhys' face angered him. Gwen had RHYS, she needed to give up any delusions she had about getting with Jack. _

_And then he saw Jack run off for six months. When he'd returned it was simply to say goodbye to Gwen. He left Earth altogether._

Ianto seethed and grieved. Why would Jack leave? It made no sense.

THEY saw this and tried to fix things so that he wouldn't be so upset anymore.

THEY assured him that Jack would return.

And then it happened. "The miracle".

Jack had returned to watch over Gwen. Everyone stopped dying at once. It was time. The energy created by "the miracle" allowed Ianto and the others to return to life again.

Then the three of them, united in their immortality, went to find Jack and Gwen.

Jack and Gwen were rather easy to catch.

Ianto watched as they tried to figure out where they were.

It was time. He ignored the little tingle he felt in the back of his mind. Something about this wasn't quite right but his desire to be with Jack was so strong.

"Hello Jack, Gwen. Are you comfortable?"

Jack slammed his hand against the glass of his cell.

"Damn you! Have dare you use our memory of Ianto against us!"

"I'm not a memory."

"You are. He... Ianto died. In my arms."

"Yes, in your arms. And you still couldn't say that you loved me."

Ianto turned cold blue eyes onto the other man. Jack looked confused. ("Ianto Jones, I love you." But that wasn't real... was it?)

"I said that you would forget me and I was right."

"I never forgot..." Jack began.

"Really? You know," Ianto said in a conversational tone. "I would never begrudge a person the right to seek comfort in sex. Nor would I be angry at someone I loved moving on. But tell me Jack, all those times you were fucking someone else, did I ever cross your mind? All those morning afters did you ever once think of how you and I used to wake up together?"

The silence was answer enough. Jack had never cared for him. He cared for her. But dammit, he still wanted to be with him no matter what.

"See Gwen," Ianto said, his heart heavy with pain. "Even now his thoughts are filled with you."

"That's not true! I loved you!" cried Jack.

"Yet you couldn't tell me that when I was alive." Ianto stepped up and placed his hand on the glass. "Captain, my Captain, I allowed myself to believe that I mattered to you. That got me killed. Just as it did Owen and Toshiko." He didn't want to hurt Jack but his personal grief had become laden down with resentment. He couldn't hold back.

"What do you want?" Gwen demanded.

He hadn't hated her before, or even as, he died. He wasn't sure that he did now.

**He doesn't love you, not as much as he should. He wanted to forget you. He always wanted her. You were just an object, the Nothing in him whispered.**

"Ah, Gwen... Sweet, perfect Gwen." Ianto turned towards her. "Did you know that I thought you were the heart of Torchwood when you first joined? Every time anything bad happened to you, I wanted to protect you. You see, the rest of us were so jaded but you... You were innocent. At least, that's what you wanted us to believe." His eyes darkened. "But I know the truth. I know all of your ugly secrets. Tell me, since you swore to not keep secrets from your beloved husband, does Rhys know that you slept with Owen?"

Tears trickled from her eyes as she looked at him.

"Ianto..."

"I wonder... is that child really Rhys' or is it someone else's?"

"Shut up!" Gwen said. "What do you want with us?"

Ianto said, "Do you know what it was like, loving and losing everyone I loved? No, because you've got the perfect life. And Jack, you had so much given to you but you spent all your time moaning about how hard it was. You both took so much for granted. I shouldn't be doing you this favor but I still care."

"Favor?" Jack asked. "What favor?"

"Why, ending this cursed miracle of course."

He saw the hope in their eyes and something else in Jack's (love, maybe? Dare he hope?).

"You can do that?" she whispered. "You can save us?"

"You already know what's caused this but what you didn't know was that so many have been a part of it. Myself included." But only he, Owen and Tosh had been suitable. Only they understand how lonely everything truly was.

"No," Jack said. "Ianto Jones knew how painful it was for me to be immortal. He would never help make the world like that!"

Ianto flicked his eyes at him then looked back at Gwen. He could feel something... different, almost dark whisper to him.

"Gwen, the humanity of Torchwood, would you be willing to make a personal sacrifice to save the world?"

"If that's what it takes," she said.

"I have your word that you will make this sacrifice?"

"Yes!"

Ianto's face twisted into a dark parody of a smile. The Nothing was taking control. Ianto's soul cried out; it wanted Jack to save him.

"Tell me why you're doing this?" Jack asked. "Is it because I couldn't say it?"

"Believe it or not, Jack, the world does not revolve around you." Ianto looked his lover full in the face. "You want to know? Humans are stupid creatures. They let their prejudices and curiosity control them. Too many times too many people have suffered because of that. So a select few, chosen carefully over the years, were granted the power of forever. But in order for it to work we needed the life energies of everyone. So we found a way to make everyone immortal. Now all that's left is to take that energy away from everyone again. Once that's done, myself and the others will be as you were Jack. Fixed Points in Time and Space. Not even your Doctor will be able to change us back."

"Humanity will be restored?" Jack asked. He seemed so desperate. God how he loved this man. He would destroy a million worlds to be with him. And the Nothing knew this. THEY knew this as well. Both wanted it but for different reasons.

"Yes. Though any injury sustained right before the change will still be there. But it will be over."

Ianto looked from one to the other.

"It's time for your sacrifice, Gwen."

She squared her shoulders and nodded.

"I'm ready," she said bravely.

He laughed and she jumped. Jack looked upset.

(Soon it would be over and he and Jack would be together. Forever. That was all that truly mattered.)

"Oh Gwen! What do you think is going to happen? Do you think that you're going to die?"

She frowned and glanced at Jack. At HIS Jack. Did she still think he was her hero?

He ignored the voice that whispered that this woman had been his friend, she loved her husband and had realized that her feelings for Jack were not love, not the kind of love that HE had for Jack.

(THEY begged the Nothing to leave him alone, to let him be himself. But the Nothing wanted to be more. And it needed Ianto's pain to be free.)

"No Gwen. You don't get out of it that easily." Ianto turned away from Jack and pressed his hands against the glass between him and Gwen. "Owen was neglected by his family, he lost his fiancee to aliens, he lost Diane. He died twice. Toshiko was imprisoned, branded a traitor, because she loved her mother so much. She was forced to send a man she loved to his death. She died protecting us from a psychotic child. I survived Canary Wharf. I watched as you all gunned down Lisa. I watched as you and Jack, the man I love, made love with your eyes at every turn. And Jack... How many times did he die for us? He gave up his own flesh and blood to save this world's children. But you..." he looked at her in disgust. "You spent your time telling us that we have forgotten what being human feels like. You were never satisfied with what you had so you had to have more. At my funeral you ignored your husband in favor of my lover. You don't know the meaning of the word 'sacrifice'." He smiled. "But you will."

(No, I don't want this. Gwen's my friend. I don't want to hurt her.)

The Nothing was winning.

He snapped his fingers and a door opened.

Two people, a man and a woman, stepped out. The woman held a small child, a baby, in her arms.

"Owen! Tosh!"

"They were chosen as I was. All three of us will live forever." _Just like you, Jack._

Ianto walked over and took the baby from Tosh. Time to completely break Gwen. (No, I don't want this. Please, stop!)

"Anwen!" Gwen gasped.

"Your sacrifice Gwen," said Ianto. "Your father, I'm sorry to say, will not recover. Your baby is now mine."

"No!" Gwen shouted. She banged on the glass. "Anwen! Ianto no!"

"Ianto!" Jack cried.

Ianto turned to face his lover. "I said I was doing you a favor, remember?" (This isn't the way! Dammit, why can't I see that?) "You saw your immortality as a curse. It's only a curse if you're alone. But don't you see, we can be together now. Forever."

"No," Jack said. "Not like this. Gwen-"

Ianto eyes hardened again. "So, I offer you myself forever and yet it's still her you think of?" Would he never be enough? (No! Listen to yourself! You know better than THIS. He thinks of her because she's the only thing he has left since I died...)

"That's not it!"

"It is! Did you ever care about me or was I just there? A piece of movable furniture? I love you. I love you enough to suffer through this to be with you. But all you can think about is her. She'll never leave Rhys, she needs him because he can't find true fault within her." (No, she only was infatuated with a fantasy and she outgrew that. You KNOW that. Don't listen to this!)

But his desire to be with Jack was stronger than his desire to not hurt Gwen.

"Ianto, don't do this!"

Now Ianto's smile was full of sorrow. "You see, Jack?" he whispered. "You can't even deny that you love her."

He lifted Anwen to his shoulder. "You will now go back to sleep. When you wake up, you will remember nothing. Then you will 'save the world' and carry on with your lives. But in the back of your minds, you'll know the truth."

Ianto started to walk away, Owen and Tosh with him. He paused and looked back at Jack. He hoped that Jack could see the love he felt for him in his eyes, on his face. Because he was doing this FOR him.

"Maybe one day we can be together Jack. I'll be waiting for you to realize that all she will ever bring you is pain. I'll always wait for you. Come and find me, Jack."

Gwen screamed for him to stop and Jack slid down to the floor.

They were asleep before the door had closed.

"What now?" Owen asked.

"They will 'find' the solution to this stupid 'miracle' of course." he shifted the baby in his arms. He would take care of her, love her and protect her from harm. Until Jack came to his senses, she was all he had. Well, besides Owen and Tosh. But they didn't need him. Little Anwen did.

There was one thing he was certain about. Jack would come for him.

And he would be ready.

(I will be too. You can count on that. Jack will find us and he'll drive you back to the void where you belong.)

Because Ianto knew, deep within, that Jack loved him even now. Each time he lay with another, he forced himself to not think of Ianto because it hurt. Not because he didn't love him. Ianto just had to hang on a little longer.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O

END.

A/N: Yeah, weird. I hadn't planned on doing anything else in this Fix-It but after listening to "The House of the Dead" I changed my mind.

Ok, to help clear up some confusion, Ianto's knowledge of his funeral with Jack and Gwen there is provided by the Nothing. The Nothing is using Ianto's past insecurities to trick him, making him believe that Jack loves Gwen instead of him. The whole "Gwen & Jack hand holding" thing is taken from the TW comic "Shrouded", written by GDL himself. I just adapted it for my story.

Any questions or criticisms? Click the review button!


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